I've been thinking of a way to out do Van Gogh and his ear?

OK...I am madly in lust with Simone (pronounced Sea-mahn) but ever since I ended our 37 minute engagement proposal, she has soured om me. I've tried convincing her on many occasions to "bed down" with me, or "have relations" but sadly, my approaches have been rebuffed. I was reading how Vincent Van Gogh hacked off his ear and sent it to his obsession, but that's a little graphic---so I've decided to have my healthy appendix removed and sent by courier to her---as a noble sign of my lust. Your thoughts? Would it win her over, or must I practice "self-love" on Valentine's Day??